“The fast track to get off track in business and life is to turn the track into a game versus the track into a path for everyone to get what they want and desire.” - Jared Yellin
“Jared, you are such a straight shooter.”
You get what you see.
You get what I say.
You get all that I am.
And here’s why…
I have interacted with more people than most just based on the nature of how I have done life and entrepreneurship…
And the ONE THING that is an absolute guaranteed dismissal from my life is when someone plays games.
They attempt to manipulate me…
They attempt to control me…
They attempt to confuse me…
They attempt to make me feel a certain way which is not positive…
They attempt to put words in my mouth…
They attempt to back me into a corner…
And if/when any of these (or others) take place in any human dynamic…
Like Mr. Wonderful says on Shark Tank…
“You’re dead to me!”
And the reason I am so steadfast on this is because I just don’t have time to play games.
EVERY decision I make - which includes what people I allow in my life - MUST lead to more FREEDOM for myself, my family, my team, and everyone I care about most.
So if SOMEONE who enters my life begins to play games, what I define this as is that they are stealing my FREEDOM which is an immediate abolishment from my world.
And guess what…
YOU should be as steadfast as well!
The ONLY reason people play games in business, intimate relationships, or social dynamics is because they get away with it.
NOT with me…
But probably with YOU!
And the more they get away with it, the more they believe they will continue to get away with it.
But if more people were as steadfast as ME, then gamers would have no place to play games.
So repeat after me…
Games are for losers.
Games are for losers.
Games are for losers.
Games are for losers.
Games are for losers.
YES, say it FIVE times and then follow these 5 STEPS…
5 Steps To Win The Game By Not Playing The Game
Step 1: Listen WAYYYY more than you speak.
You should make it your goal to ask more questions than answer AND to listen WAYYYY more than you speak - ESPECIALLY - when you are still getting to know someone.
Because the ONLY way to determine if they are a gamer or a legit human is to get them talking.
So here’s SOME of the questions I ask…
What are you most proud of? (Past-pacing)
What are you most excited about? (Present-pacing)
What is your vision? (Future-pacing)
What has been working well for you?
What has not been working well for you?
What do you need right now to reach the next level?
What are your non-negotiables?
What would your mom say is the # 1 area where you need the most support?
What is by far the worst thing you've ever done to another person?
What is your greatest regret?
What do you want to be known for?
There are countless other questions, but the entire GOAL of any human dynamic for someone who is committed to achieving BIG outcomes in life is to quickly - and I mean on the first call - determine if this person is a hero or a zero in your world.
AND the only way - I mean this - the ONLY way you will EVER know is if you ASK more questions than you answer and listen wayyyy more than you speak.
I am looking for their values, consistencies, self-confidence, ambition, decision-making process, energy, etc.
Step 2: Repeat whatever the other party declares they will do.
One of my absolute highest values is DO what you say you will DO!
And I have a zero-tolerance policy for talk because talk is cheap and games are for losers.
So…
If someone I am speaking with says they are going to achieve a specific outcome (personal or professional), I immediately repeat it with enthusiasm and then say…
“How are you going to do that?” (with genuine curiosity)
Once they respond, I repeat their response, and then…
I hold them to it.
I ask them how they are progressing.
I ask them if they are on track.
I ask them what’s working.
I ask them what their greatest lesson has been.
And if at any point their words and actions don’t align – I am done.
I know this seems harsh, but what's even more harsh is you wasting the one asset you can never get more of – your time.
But just so you are REALLY clear…
EVERYONE is innocent until proven guilty with me.
So…
I am NOT looking for them to falter.
I am NOT looking to uncover their games.
I am NOT looking to catch them in an act.
I want them to win—without games—because when you win without games, you win fast (like really fast), and I always look for and expect quick victories.
Step 3: Know in advance what your non-negotiables are + state them.
The one guarantee in the world of being inside of a game is that you can NEVER EVER EVER get hurt if you are clear on your non-negotiable values, goals, desires, decisions, etc., AND if you state them so the other person is fully aware.
I am EXTREMELY direct in business, and I do it immediately when meeting people because I want them to self-select IN or OUT – ASAP!
If my values don’t align with theirs, no harm, no foul AS LONG AS we don’t waste each other's time.
And the same holds true in your personal life…
When I first met my now wife (our first date) I told her what was absolutely non-negotiable for me regarding health decisions for myself and my future family.
You can’t be more direct than I was in that conversation so that she would either IMMEDIATELY self-select IN or OUT.
PLEASE realize…
TIME IS THE ONLY ASSET THAT COUNTS, so the faster you can freak someone out or freak someone in, the better.
Step 4: Completely disengage if the other party does not do what they say they will do.
I have a ONE reminder of a default (so the person can correct a misrepresentation) and then you are OUT if it happens again which means…
If you say you will do something and don’t - I remind you - like a mirror reminds you of everything when you look yourself in the eyes.
AND if someone does not “update” what they previously shared but once again does things that misalign with what they previously said, I am DONE!
When I say done - I am still rooting for this person in their life - they are just NOT part of mine because…
I don’t play games.
ONLY LOSERS PLAY GAMES.
And I have too many goals, dreams, and desires to have any losers get in my way.
So…
I remind them of their commitment.
I give them permission to change it.
I eliminate them if they default 2x.
But always with respect and gratitude and as a big fan hoping for a victory for them someday in the future.
Step 5: Never forget that you are always in control of what you say, do, and commit to.
The final step is CRUCIAL!
People often allow others to play games with them because…
They don’t feel worthy…
They don’t feel successful…
They don’t feel accomplished…
They don’t feel they can…
They don’t feel _____________!
But when you realize that you DON’T need anyone other than yourself to make you happy, accomplish your goals and aspirations, and thrive in life, then you DON’T allow gamers in – EVER!
I see this often with people who are desperate for love — they will get it, but it will most likely be with the wrong person because they were too desperate, and the outcome is never positive.
BUT when they shift desperate to abundance, desire, and alignment – they attract true love on THEIR terms versus the terms that have been shoved down their throat by someone who did not read this article which clearly states…
GAMES ARE FOR LOSERS!
Now What?
A close friend of mine recently asked me a question…
“Jared, what I admire about you the most are not your entrepreneurial accomplishments or your ambition or any of your material successes. Rather, it's your relationship with your wife, kids, and family. How did you do it while ALSO dominating in business?”
My answer was simple, but for some, hard to execute on…
I don’t play games!
Let me just replay my first date for you with my now wife, Lindsay….
I asked poignant questions and listened WAYYYYY more than I spoke.
I repeated the values she said she had in life and the goals she was committed to.
I was (and am) absolutely certain of my non-negotiables in specific areas, such as child-raising, health, education, and more, and I told her.
Lindsay DID what she said she would DO, which speaks volumes more than her saying it.
I knew and know (and so does Lindsay) that we are in control of what we say, do, and commit to.
I played ZERO games, and that night when Lindsay went home, she told her mom, “I have never met anyone like him.”
I am not sharing this to toot my own horn but rather as an example of how productive it is to ELIMINATE games as an option.
Because Lindsay and I were engaged less than one year later and have built an extraordinary life for the two of us and our three children.
But the same holds true in business…
I get deals done - fast - because I don’t play games AND I don’t tolerate them either.
I follow the process from above, and it will quickly lead to a deal or the elimination of a person — both options work for me, and they should for you as well.
Because GAMES are for LOSERS…
They are for people who are too insecure to show up as their REAL self…
They are for people who lack the skill or ability to achieve an outcome, so they try to distract you from achieving what you desire…
They are for people who have conditioned themselves to lack transparency because they believe they are stronger when exposing less of themselves…
They are for people who only know how to succeed if they have leverage, but who, in reality, prey on the weak…
They are for people who would rather feel in control than achieve success, impact, and fulfillment…
You do what you want, but I am telling you LOUD + CLEAR…
GAMES ARE FOR LOSERS!
Whether these games are coming from a lover, friend, colleague, potential partnership, etc.
And if you decide to PLAY THE GAME, you become a LOSER too because what you will lose is the ONLY asset that matters…
YOUR TIME!
So I repeat again…
GAMES ARE FOR LOSERS!
So…
Don’t play them and instead remember step 5 from above…
Never forget that you are always in control of what you say, do, and commit to.
I know you got this – TOGETHER!
Live with Intention,
