Your Critics Provide The Greatest Compliments

“A critique is a compliment when it's coming from someone who does not have what you desire." - Jared Yellin

I believe that the number one reason why people fall short of their goals, dreams, and desires in life is because they let someone, who does not have anything they desire, convince them that what they desire is unattainable, not valuable, or impossible.

They allow the unaccomplished naysayer to project their insecurities around their lack of success upon them which distracts, derails, and diffuses their commitment to their optimal outcome.

And when I am a witness to this taking place…

I want to destroy the critic…

I want to put them in their place…

I want to hold up a mirror so they can spew their insecurities upon themselves…

But the reality is…

EVERY critic who shares a critique is COMPLIMENTING you…

It’s a compliment because what you desire is the polar opposite of what they are…

It’s a compliment because what you are committed to is something they never had the courage to begin…

It’s a compliment because their insecurities are your drive…

And when you begin to HEAR critics as the source of compliments – not only does it diffuse their power BUT what it actually does is catalyze you to do more of what they are critiquing…

Think of it like this…

When you compliment your child for a specific behavior – what do they do?!?!

MORE OF THE BEHAVIOR!

Which means…

When someone who DOES NOT have what you want shares an opinion of you…

DO MORE OF THE BEHAVIOR! 

Would you listen to someone who is significantly out of shape when it comes to health advice?

OF COURSE NOT!

Then why do you listen to people who DON’T have the marriage you want or the business you want or the relationship with kids you want…

It’s time to begin listening to your own opinions of YOU more than entertaining the vantage point of people who represent nothing that YOU want to associate with or become.

And the way I do it is by following these 5 strategies…

5 Ways To Stop Giving A F**K What People, Who Don’t Have What You Want, Think About You

1. Are they right or accurate?

Let’s give the critic the benefit of the doubt for a moment…

Is what they are saying right and/or accurate? 

If yes, don’t LISTEN unless they have what you desire, but entertain what they are sharing to find ways to improve.

If not, ignore AND become even more motivated by the fact that someone who is NOT performing the way you are in a specific domain of life has opinions on how you are outperforming them…

Here’s what you don’t want or need to do..

Give any oxygen to it!

This means – ignore it and move on.

Some people are just so broken that the only way they feel whole - momentarily like a drug - is by trying to bring others down to their level.

So…

Become HYPER aware and honest with yourself – make changes if necessary AND double down where you have already dialed in regardless of what the critique is trying to spew upon you.

2. Answer this question, “Is there anything about this person, attribute or asset, that you desire in your life?”

Sometimes, the critique is on such a mission to destroy you (because they themselves have been destroyed) that the only way to combat it is via common sense principles.

But this could be easier said than done…

Because many many critics have no backbone whatsoever in the domain that they are judging, but they are judging it solely to slow you down so they can catch up.

Therefore, deploy some good solid common sense principles on your own psychology to ensure that your mind is indestructible.  

For example…(answer these questions in your head or write them down)

What is the greatest attribute or asset of the critique?

What is the weakness attribute or asset of the critique?

What quality of the critique is redeeming?

What quality of the critique is vile?

This exercise is liberating because once you complete this assessment – the final question to answer is…

“Should I listen?”

Maybe the answer is YES and the critique will serve you well.

Maybe the answer is NO so you move on quickly versus being sucked into the vortex

And from my experience, there has NEVER been a critic that has enlightened me to such a degree that I wanted to work with them - quite the contrary - I seek out believers, I seek out opportunistics, I seek out experimenters, I seek out visionaries, I seek out people who want to WIN together.

3. Do the exact opposite of what they have spewed upon you.

During COVID, my family and I took a very strong stance on maintaining our freedoms.

And I am NOT making this a political discussion. Rather the perfect example of doing the opposite of what others are telling you to do when the others don’t have what you desire.

Many many many people took the liberty to share their opinions on my decision for myself and my family and the irony is…

They were and are extremely unhealthy…

They were and are a follower…

They were and are uneducated…

They were and are NOT an example of what I desire for my family…

So…

I did the opposite of their opinion…

I focused on creating as much velocity as humanly possible around the decision we made as a family…

We sold everything and moved from Connecticut to Florida where our freedoms were protected…

We sought out a community of like minded people where our values are aligned…

We found a school which honored our beliefs…

We not only did the exact opposite of what the critics were telling me, but we did it quickly, swiftly, and intentionally.

There was no looking back and there was no consideration for anything other than what was best for our family. 

And guess what…

It worked in EVERY way whereas the people spewing their opinion - many of them - are in a far far far worse place today because they did not think for themselves and instead just listened to what they were told to do.

4. Dig deeper than ever into your intention and outcome.

You are a human and until you have mastered the “I don’t give a F**K” mentality. There is a good chance that the critic will get in your head at least initially.

You will begin to question your actions…

You will begin to reassess your beliefs…

You will start to reconsider your path…

AND you need to do the exact opposite of all of these three…

Instead, dig really deep into…

What is my intention?

What is my outcome?

The faster you can define these two critical domains the quicker you are back to yourself and in control once again. 

Your INTENTION and OUTCOME - when defined and owned - is a force of nature that will ensure (with proper commitment and execution) that NO opinion ever gets in the way of your optimal outcome. 

5. Say thank you.

Remember, your critics provide the greatest compliments…

So…

THANK THEM!

Thank them for shining a spotlight on how wonderful you are…

Thank them for catalyzing you even more…

Thank them for being insure and showing you how to become untippable…

Thank them for their compliment…

This is by no means a passive aggressive NLP type of approach. It’s a genuine THANK YOU for what the critic just shared because what they just shared is EXACTLY what you needed to hear in order to get to where you committed to going.

Now What…?

STOP giving a F**K and if this 2 letter word with two asterisks bothers you and you miss the point of this critical, life-changing, and transformative article is trying to bestow upon you…shame on you!

• Shame on you for being so soft…

• Shame on you for letting the pebble in your life derail you…

• Shame on you for not believing in yourself enough that someone who DOES NOT have anything you desire can deflate your enthusiasm by spewing their insecure opinions upon you…

• Shame on you for having an excuse that holds you back from your potential…

By far my greatest attribute for success is how little I care about what other people think…

I actually don’t care at all.

And let me reinforce why…

I am crystal clear on my values…

I am monomanically focused on my outcomes…

I am always centered on WIN WIN WIN WIN (where my win is last)...

I am committed to exponential growth for all…

I am always dancing to the beat of my own drum…

I am in love with myself…

AND because of this - AND MORE - I simply don’t give a F**K what anyone thinks because anything they think negatively about me is a deficit within themselves. 

AND AND AND…

The same holds true for YOU!

IF and only IF you become…

Crystal clear on your values…

Monomanically focused on your outcomes…

Centered on WIN WIN WIN WIN (where your win is last)...

Committed to exponential growth for all…

Dancing to the beat of your own drum…

In love with yourself…

And there is nothing I want more for you than all of the above because when you operate from this frame – you experience what FREEDOM is all about.

You will have the freedom to be you…

You will have the freedom to reach new heights…

You will have the freedom to accomplish all of your goals, aspirations and dreams…

You will have the freedom to do as you please…

And this article is NOT meant to hype you up or have you pound your chests with motivation - quite the contrary - this article is 100000% intended to bring awareness to a blind spot which is defined as…

STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE WHO DON’T HAVE WHAT YOU WANT THINK ABOUT YOU!

NOT all opinions are equal…

NOT all opinions have value…

NOT all opinions should be heard…

ESPECIALLY when the source of the opinion is…

Not healthy, but they comment on your health decisions.

Not wealthy, but they comment on your business decisions.

Not in a happy relationship, but they comment on marriage.

Not a parent, but they comment on how you have chosen to raise your kids.

And the list goes on and on and on…

SO, just to remind you so you NEVER forget…

.

STOP giving a F**K about what anyone thinks besides YOU because their opinions of you are COMPLIMENTS when they don’t have what you desire!

I am here for you always - TOGETHER - we are unstoppable.

Live with Intention,